A Memory Away
by mizamiko
Summary: Everything changes even in Meifu. A Shinigami moves on and life goes on in the Shokan division. This is an AU (with some WK crossover) set after the Kyoto incident in the Yami timeline and before Aya-chan woke up in the Weib timeline.(Shounen ai? Maybe)
1. Default Chapter

Title: A Memory Away  
Anime: AU crossover of Yami no Matsuei and Weiß Kreuz.  
Author: mizamiko  
Rating of Chapter: PG 

Chapter 1: Tatsumi Seiichirou: Iris 

And I'd give up forever to touch you   
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow 

"They're good for each other." That was what I told myself whenever I stayed in the office long after everyone has gone. This was what I had wanted, for him to be happy. Above everyone else... I prayed for him to be happy. 

I was right. An empath who would be able to reach him, heal him, someone whom he would be able to love, the way I couldn't let him… 

I gave up my forever so that he could find the one who would truly be his match and be able to spend forever with, whomever he chose. He'll never know how much I had to give up just to see him smile. He'll never know the reason why I had to cut him away from me. It hurt me to see him hurt when I did that, but I couldn't take it. He hurt me and the only way that I could stop hurting is to make him stop hurting. If making him happy meant hurting him first and then help him find what he really needed, then so be it. Because I knew, I was not what he needed. 

I just hoped that even if he didn't know how I manipulated everything he would feel the results. Like gossamer strands brushing at his senses, that was all he would ever know. 

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be   
And I don't wanna go home right now 

Kurosaki-kun was with him now. In the darkness where nightmares played, he found comfort in his touch. Kurosaki-kun will not let him down. He can depend on him, he went in through the fire just to reach him after all. 

I was right. He was the one who would make Tsuzuki-san happy. Kurosaki-kun was strong enough to rise above his pain to reach through his. I was willing to let him die. Kurosaki-kun was willing to die to save him. He deserved a protector like that, someone who can be there when he was down and not follow him in his path to sadness. 

They were wrong when they said I was cold hearted to think that his death was the solution to his pain. The choices that I made was all for him. It's true. There was more courage to live with the pain and to survive. But what if the pain was too great? 

What was courage in such a case? At that point it becomes only a badge to flaunt to others on your supposed strength. Those around the person will be happy to have such an example of such an incredible person. Was such a thing worth it? In death there was no more pain. They say in taking your life you were being selfish and will just hurt the ones who care for you. True, but they were also the ones who were being selfish. They care not that you are no longer in pain. 

They did not wish for him to die. I have no wish for him to die. But I would rather have him dead and no longer hurting than alive slowly dying. However, that was moot point now. 

I know right now almost everyone of them passed by there lending him strength after everything that happened. He'll never know how much I wanted to be there too but I could no longer bring myself to step out to take that short walk to the healers. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to go home, not when I knew that nightmares still plagued him whenever he closed his eyes. Funny, I was leaving him to his nightmares to save him from another. 

And all I can taste is this moment   
And all I can breathe is your life 

It was past midnight and almost everyone has gone home, except for Kurosaki-kun. There he lies in the bed beside Tsuzuki-san's, ready to wake him if another nightmare came. Sleep has claimed him for the moment. 

I did not go near him. I had no wish to wake either one of them. I wanted to have a moment to remember him, to keep forever locked inside. He was lost to me, forever, and every step away was a conscious decision of mine. 

He said to me, on one of my visits, that he understood that I cared for him… Deep inside I wondered if it was a mistake to have permitted this attachment he felt to come into being. Now, I was about to hurt him again…

I sent my shadow to wipe the sweat off his brow and he moved against my 'hand'. He was so beautiful but my time was short and I needed to leave soon. 

And sooner or later it's over   
I just don't wanna miss you tonight 

I lifted the coverlet to his chin and left the single gift that I kept from our time together so long ago. A simple ceramic cup. I filled it with honey milk. I knew he loved it. I would not need the cup where I was going. 

Where I have been avoiding him all this time, the urge to see him one last time was stronger than my vow to never go near him again. One last time before everything was taken away. 

And I don't want the world to see me   
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand   
When everything's made to be broken   
I just want you to know who I am 

I leave the office and made my way to the Sakura trees near the office. This was my haven. This was where I could show my weakness and hide away from the world. 

Many shinigami fear me, even those more powerful in summoning and casting spells. Though to be honest most shinigami are more powerful in summoning as my powers are unconventional to say the least. With most, I heard it was because of my 'cold ruthless nature', my 'severity'. Many of the shinigami who were my peers have already 'retired' or have taken a desk job, no longer involved with actual cases, though Tsuzuki-san and Kachou are both my seniors that never seemed to change the fact. Maybe it was because I saw my work differently. Maybe that was why it was easier for me to do this job than Tsuzuki. Yes, I end life, I bring back those spirits who were due to be back, but that was only one end of it. I have stayed here long enough to also see those same spirits sent back to be reborn. I cannot explain that to Tsuzuki. Only when one asks will that information be given to them by Kachou. I was just more curious than most. I could never explain to anyone and they fear me because they do not understand me. I did not feel the burden as acutely as everyone else. 

There he stands. Konoe. My Chief. He knows, not all, but enough to understand. He was here not to stop me, but to lead me to my next destination. 

"Good evening. DiaOh sama awaits." 

I nodded in reply. I had nothing to say. I have served under him long enough to know I was not the first, nor would I be the last shinigami that he will lead this way. I almost laugh whenever the rumor mill would start again that I was the real head of the division. Konoe was Kachou and I would never think of usurping him, not if I still wished to live comfortably. 

This was the last job that the head of this particular division must do. He was the one who would bring the spirit of his shinigami's before Enma DaiOh. Rare though this may be it was not unheard of. 

We walked slowly and with every step I made we shifted from one plane to another. By the time I had taken my sixth step we were before a small door in the middle of an open field. If we were not looking for it we would have missed it. 

"I will ask you for the last time. The moment you step in this doors, there will be no turning back. You will be subject to Enma DaiOh's judgment." Konoe stated, giving this decision the weight that accorded it. "Do you wish to continue and face the judgment of Enma DaiOh?" 

"Yes." 

He opened the door and I walked inside, alone. I heard, more than saw, him close the door, and I was alone in the judgment hall, the throne room of Enma Daioh. 

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming   
Or the moment of truth in your lies   
When everything feels like the movies   
And you bleed just to know you're alive

The judgment of Enma DaiOh was swift and final. I stood before a window watching Meifu come alive with the rising of the sun. I was waiting for my turn. I had thought I would stay for a while as a spirit but it seemed like I was due to have a second chance in life. But not a free life like with other souls. I was to be reborn but I was still to be a servant of the god of death. No spirit remembers the interim between lives but I would. Not the memory of Tatsumi though. I would not remember this life but I will remember my purpose of being reborn. They needed someone who would be strong enough to live with blood tainting his hands. The candidates that they nominated were me and Tsuzuki-san. It was either Tsuzuki-san or me. I knew the moment that Kachou brought up the subject that I could not let it happen. I could not let them force him to kill, at least not like the way they intended.

There really was no option. My next life has already been planned. I would be born into a family that was to be destroyed by my surrogate family with the blood of my brothers most likely tainting my hands. I would be brought up as an assassin so that I would be able to stop any chance of a demon feared to destroy spirits from ever being awoken. I would be beyond anyone's reach by the time my friends found out, if ever they do wonder what happened. 

A knock on the door and I turn to see someone beckon to me. 

It was time….

Disclaimer

No shinigami was hurt during the creation of this fanfiction. I do not own the characters in either worlds. Weiβ Kreuz was created by Koyasu Takehito and Yami no Matsuei was created by Yoko Matsushita The characters and associated materials of these works are used WITHOUT permission. I'm not getting any money out of this. The song Iris was sung by Goo Goo Dolls. Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted to the author. 


	2. How did I

Title: A Memory Away  
Anime: AU crossover of Yami no Matsuei and Weiß Kreuz.  
Author: mizamiko  
Rating of Chapter: PG 

Chapter 2: Tsuzuki Asato: How did I fall in love with you?

Remember when, we never needed each other  
The best of friends like sister and brother  
We understood we'd never be alone

I opened my eyes and knew that Tatsumi had been by. A steaming cup of honey milk. He remembered. For once I woke because of something good and not because of another nightmare.

Thank you.

He has always been there. Even after he broke off our partnership, he took care of me. Small things, simple reminders that I was not alone, those little things that kept me sane or insane. He was my worst critic and my best friend. I wanted everyone happy and of everyone I so wanted to see him smile. But, in all the years that we've known each other, I could count in my hands the number of times I've seen him truly happy.

I always made you unhappy, didn't I?

He always felt he had to take care of me, but he knew he couldn't. He always seemed so frustrated whenever he did what he could. It always ended seeming cold. I have called him cruel many times before.

Those days are gone, now I want you so much  
The night is long and I need your touch  
Don't know what to say, never meant to feel this way  
Don't wanna be alone tonight

I wondered why he wasn't by this afternoon and asked Kachou when he dropped by. He said there was an emergency and he was preparing everything at the office before meeting with Enma DaiOh. The days where he was just another shinigami doing solo jobs were gone. So much responsibility was now on his shoulders and there was so little time for anything else. I knew he dropped by when he could. In the middle of lunch or late at night, even when I was asleep, just to check on me. Even if we couldn't talk, he still took pains to see how I was.

Like this night.

I wish he had stayed, but that would have been unfair. Even deep in dreams I knew his touch. The light brush of his shadow as they wiped my brow, they have always been so gentle. How could the others look at them as mere weapons of death? They have always been the kind hands that protected me, shielding me from those who would harm me. He was my very own guardian angel.

How did he know when I needed his touch? I never learned how to ask him. But like a lover who has learned all of his beloved's quirks, he touched, gave, scolded, and left alone all at what he thought was the proper time. But he never understood me. He knew but he never understood.

If there was anything that I learned in this tragedy then it was that I was selfish. Hisoka showed me this when he went in the fire to try to bring me back. Now I know why, long ago, Tatsumi told me he couldn't go on to the next world and rest or let himself die on any of his assignments. Kachou. He explained it to me the night before. Tatsumi fought so hard to live because he didn't want the others to feel pain. To die meant to hurt those left behind, and that was unacceptable. And yet… with me he questioned his own beliefs. He asked if what he did was right when he saved me. He was willing to live with the hurt of my death if death was truly what I wished.

What can I do to make you mine?  
Falling so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do?  
How did I fall in love with you?

I love Hisoka.

I was able to say that now. Moreover, I knew he loved me in return, not exactly the way I felt for him though. Maybe in the future, he will return it and I would have the courage to say it. He asked me to live for him and that was one of the reasons why I was still here and not mere vapor. It was a different feeling for what I had for Tatsumi or how I hoped he felt for me.

He told me that Hisoka was the one who was best suited for me. He was right. Hisoka seemed cold at first but under it all there was someone who could and maybe someday would smile back at me. He said I would heal him and I was just right for him. He was right, and he has become so precious to me. After everything that happened. Like the prediction of our compatibility… it was the worst and the best. The worst especially with our priorities. The best for our personalities melded together that where one weakened the other remained strong.

I think I'm falling.

I hear your voice and I start to tremble  
Brings back the child who I resemble  
I cannot pretend that we could still be friends  
Don't wanna be alone tonight

It was funny how Tatsumi-san showed such a terrible face to everyone. He was tight fisted, cold, and unsociable. I knew there was a reason for him being such, and he has yet to tell us why though, but I believed in him. To him I would always be a child, someone to shelter, to save, to scold and be a general mean bossy person.

Tonight though, I could almost forgive him all that. The only apology that he has ever learned to say was through this little cup. He always brought me honey milk, which meant 'I'm Sorry' in his own little way.

Sometimes I wonder if we were friends, brothers, or just strangers. I remembered him ignoring my pleas of help, but then he was the one who was able to save me when no one else could. At times I would wish that I never met him, because then I would never question what I felt for Hisoka, but then I would never have Hisoka in the first place.

But it does not matter, right? He will always be there for me. I can love Hisoka without fear. He told me himself. He was the past and Hisoka was the present and the future. Hisoka will be beside me and all I had to do was turn around and he will be there, even if he wasn't always close.

I've gotta say these words  
And it has to be tonight  
Just need you to know…

An icy touch traces down my spine and I have a sudden urge to find him. Kachou did say he was working overtime tonight. I looked at my sleeping partner and smile. I was just going to take a quick stroll.

It worried me when I did not find him in his office, until I went outside and saw him walking by the sakura trees. He loved walking there by himself. He said it was always quiet and it soothed his nerves.

He looked so sad even while he smiled up at the moon. I wanted to go up to him and make him smile but Kachou's appearance stopped me. I could not hear their conversation, only the mention of Enma DaiOh gave away that it was again about work.

It was the middle of the night and he still was working. Workaholic.

The next morning I was permitted to leave the healers room. Everyone I met greeted me with such happy faces that I was actually glad to go back to work. I wasn't permitted to start working till a few more days though.

I passed by my desk and took in the jovial mood everyone was in. Even Watari was out of his laboratory.  
  
"Oi Tsuzuki!"  
  
I waved at Watari as he ran up to me. He looked happy. "Look! Tatsumi actually approved the grant for me to continue my research."  
  
"That's great!" I answered. I looked around for Tatsumi, knowing the ruckus would have alerted the Secretary and had him glaring at everyone to get to work. There was no blue eyed brunette though. "Where is Tatsumi-san anyway?"  
  
"Don't know. Nobody has seen him since office started. I'd better go back and tell 003 about it. Ja!"  
  
"Ja." I walked towards Tatsumi's office, wondering if the Secretary had buried himself in his work again. I knocked softly at his door, only to get no response. Now that was odd.  
  
"Tatsumi?" I called while rapping on the door. "You in there?"  
  
I reached for the knob and found it open. I pushed the door and stared at an empty room, empty as in empty clean. The table had nothing on it, not even pencils. The room felt empty, like it was swept clean of anything that would indicate that it had an owner. I frowned and wondered if Kachou would know where Tatsumi was, not that I had anything important to tell him though.  
  
When I met Kachou in the hall way and asked if he knew where Tatsumi was right then, he said he didn't know, that the last he saw him was at a meeting with Enma DaiOh. I decided then that I would just go to his home later. Maybe I'd get a free meal.  
  


…I don't wanna live this lie  
I don't wanna say goodbye  
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life  
What can I do to make you mine?  
Falling so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do?  
How did I fall in love with you

I looked at his door and wondered why the usual 'Tatsumi' name at its front was not there. I was about to knock when someone cleared his throat.  
  
"Excuse me. Are you Tatsumi-sans friend?"  
  
I turned to see an old man smiling at me. I smiled back and nodded. "I work in the same division as him"  
  
"Oh good. You must be the one who was going to help in moving all his stuff."  
  
I stopped dead in my tracks but the old man just continued on and opened his room. The apartment was eerily quiet with a box here and there. I opened one and found some albums. I took out one album that I knew by heart, in the background the old man rambled on.   
  
"Tsuzuki."  
  
I whirled around at the sound of my name. I was brought face to face with Kachou. He looked at me sadly.   
  
"Kachou. Where's Tatsumi?" I asked and all I got was a faint 'gone'. There was something wrong with me. There was something hard pressing on my chest and it was getting hard to breathe. "What do you mean gone?"  
  
"Gone."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He was called away for a job."  
  
A job. That I understood. Tatsumi was a workaholic.   
  
"When will he be back?" It was only a job right? He'll come back when it's done. Right?  
  
"Never."  
  
I shook my head. No. He'll come back. That was when I noticed it. There was something wrong with the album that I held. I flipped through the pages and frowned. No!  
  
No. No! Nononono!  
  
I fell on my knees and touched a finger on the place where a beloved almost smiling face should have been. Every one of the pictures showed something else other than what I remembered it. There was no Tatsumi in them.  
  
They said there was another way other than moving on where one can leave behind the life of a shinigami. Tatsumi had only mentioned it once. It entailed the erasure of everything that the shinigami was. It meant all physical mementos of that person would be wiped away, as if he never existed. Only his memory will be preserved but that too he said would fade in time. How could it not when everything to link the existence of the person is gone. He had said it was a fitting end for people who were not worth remembering at all.  
  
"He met with Enma-DiaOh." I whispered.  
  
…. Everything's changed we never knew………  
How did I fall in love with you?  
  
"Well that was very inconsiderate of him." 'Watari …'  
  
"Gone?" 'Hisoka…'  
  
"His memory will fade with time." 'Kachou…'  
  
I stood in the middle of the Sakura trees where I last saw him, not knowing it would be the last time.   
  
"You will last longer, live longer than everyone else Tsuzuki-san. I won't ask you to remember me, just promise to look up in the night and smile a true smile and not one of your masks."  
  
Tatsumi…  
  
July 4,2004

Disclaimer:  
  
No shinigami was hurt during the creation of this fanfiction. I do not own the characters in either worlds. Weiß Kreuz was created by Koyasu Takehito and Yami no Matsuei was created by Yoko Matsushita. The characters and associated materials of these works are used WITHOUT permission. I'm not getting any money out of this. I have no idea who sung the song… Somebody help! Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted of the author.


	3. Next in Line

Title: A Memory Away  
Anime: AU crossover of Yami no Matsuei and Weiß Kreuz.  
Author: mizamiko  
Rating of Chapter: PG 

Chapter 3: Konoe-kacho: Next in Line

I watched you leave the building and walk to the Sakura orchard. You are not the first nor will you be the last that I will lead through this path… yet I wonder if DiaOh-sama could have chosen someone else. Had it been anyone else very little complications would likely arise, but it is you and, that being the case, and you are a very special case, makes everything so problematical.

At first glace you would look so ordinary, just another uptight salaryman down at Chijou, everything impeccable and sharp, as squeaky clean as anything could ever be. So commonplace to any busy street until that is one looked at your face and the shadows at your feet. A face more often than not seen looking stern and cold, sometimes even cruel, with eyes the color of the cornflowers was the most obvious that will be seen. After years and years of working with you though, I have glimpsed moments when the mask would crack. It could look comforting and kind when the owner needed it to be. Sometimes it softens into a smile and for a few seconds it would be able to make the most powerful shinigami forget everything else in the world exists. At your feet, shadows gather and maybe unknowingly you play with them. You are a Kagetsukai. That is enough reason for many to fear you.

What has life to offer me when I grow old?

Since I have taken the position of the Chief of the ShoKan division few has ever made my life and position as interesting as you. True Tsuzuki gives me a lot of grief every now and then, terrifying moments at times even, but not the persistent fear that you give off. DiaOh sama followed the adage 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'. That was the reason why DiaOh sama kept Tsuzuki as a Shinigami. That was the reason why I kept a Kagetsukai as my secretary/accountant. Though you are not truly an enemy you held power and influence in the office that can and do rival my own. You never tried to usurp my control of the division but you never had to. Even the Peace Preservation division would have nothing to do with you, in fear of you taking over.

It was funny really. Here was a man who did not have great spiritual power or even have a shikigami to call as his own, yet others who do have the ability and the shikigami won't dare to go head on with him. He did not have any training in martial arts and can only cast a few spell yet tens of thousands he has killed. He was as bathed in blood as Tsuzuki and had he not stopped and taken a desk job he would be Tsuzuki's rival for the position as the best agent.When I had decided that I would most likely spend the rest of my eternity, my old age, in peace I had not expected to have two of the deadliest shinigami's working for me. I think someone put a curse on me, a Chinese curse, a curse to live in interesting times…

What is there to look forward to beyond the biting cold?

You look at the reflection of the moon in the sky and I know that you have come to an impasse and you do not like it but like you are wont you make the best of it. You will never let Tsuzuki make this choice and you made sure that he would never know. You are a cruel man and yet how could I fault you when it is all for him. Enma DaiOh knew you enough that he knew which strings to pull to get you to decide to become a willing sacrifice in the crucible of Enma Oh's plan.Why could you not be kind even just to yourself if you cannot with the others? Can you not see anything other than winter for your future? After this though there might not be a happy ending.I see Tsuzuki walking towards you as you smile up at the moon in your rare sad smile. If Tsuzuki ever finds out before the act what will happen to you he will shake Meifu's very foundation. He will never agree to this. He will not be happy being the only one happy, if there are others who would be unhappy. Much like the Shitsuji in the Earls book, this was a sacrifice that he would never ask of you. He will never know though. DaiOh sama will never tell him, I am bound to never tell anyone, and Tatsumi will be long gone…

They say it's difficult, yes tell ya it's typical.

Tsuzuki will not have his chance to learn what is planned for tonight. I will not give him the chance. This is too important a mission to be compromised by any external force.

I'm sorry Tsuzuki.He turns to me as he hears my approach. Eyes resigned to its fate stare back at me. This has never been easy for me. Always, always of all of my duties as the chief of a division this is the least liked obligation that I knew no one else can carry out.Unlike all the others that I have already lead through this path he did not turn away from me as I approached. No fear shines in his eyes. Stern and composed in everything, I cannot help but wonder if my division will survive the loss of such a capable man."Good evening. DaiOh sama awaits"Forgive me Tatsumi. Even as I lead you to the path that will ultimately destroy you I find no acceptable excuse for you to forgive me this betrayal. You cannot know that Enma DaiOh will never let Tsuzuki escape and so will never take the path that you now choose. This time around the blood will be on my hands.We reach a small door in the middle of an open field at the sixth step of our walk. The door was an unobtrusive fixture, one that no one would ever just stumble upon or easily find."I will ask you for the last time. The moment you step through these doors, there will be no turning back. You will be subject to Enma DaiOh's judgment." I say, as if I was actually giving him a choice in the matter, even if there was actually no turning back the moment we started our first step to this door. "Do you wish to continue and face the judgment of Enma DaiOh?"

"Yes."

I walked up to the door and opened it to let him pass through. Once he stepped in I closed it shut and sealed his fate. I can almost hear the screams of pain that I knew he would utter, like all the other shinigami that have come before him many years passed. 

Sometimes I really hated my job.

What's there beyond sleepy work and the school life?

I opened the door to my office and watch the whole office come to life as one by one the shinigami under my division come in. Each one stuck in this stasis state, forever servants, chained to this life of never ending missions. 

There was nothing to look forward to unless one wished to move on or be unmade. Here they were living a semblance of normal life, in truth though they are simply in that moment where so much is unresolved in them; trapped until finally all unsettled accounts are paid in full or forgotten. 

Yet already I see, another disruption of the tedium. Tsuzuki has returned to an almost happy office, yet I could see his sudden disappointment on seeing the empty room that was once Tatsumi's. A room he cleaned out last night before he went away. No matter. He will forget… they all do.

Ain't got nothing else round here but you in strife.

I didn't expect Tsuzuki to come to his apartment, not immediately after work, not before I was able to clear all of Tatsumi's things from his apartment. I looked at him as he stared bewildered at all the boxes. Now the difficult part of this path starts. As the most senior shinigami it usually falls to me to remember those who had been unmade. This time though I think everything has become more complicated.

"Tsuzuki."

He looked at me in surprise and it was all I could do to reassure him. Nothing in the books ever covered what to do with subordinate shinigamis more powerful than you and closer than you to the one unmade. Technicalities and other interesting clauses must be at work since by the end of the day most if not all has forgotten.

"Kachou. Where's Tatsumi?" he asked in such a small voice that I wonder if in the daze he is in he even heard my answer.

"Gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"Gone."

"Why?"

'Why?' what reason would satisfy you Tsuzuki? No reason will be enough. Not even the reason, the real reason that he no longer lived here.

"He was called away for a job."

"When will he be back?" 

"Never." Never again as Tatsumi. Maybe in the future as the new being that was made out of the substance that was once him but not the same, never the same again.

I watched him shake his head in denial. I almost screamed at him to not look at the albums as he opened them. I watched his face turn from denial to horror. Even someone like Tsuzuki, who never bothers to learn too much about procedures and technical aspects of being a shinigami, would know of this little other path other than moving on.

He fell to his knees and traced the outline of Tatsumi on one of the pictures in the album. Or more the place where before he once stood. When someone is unmade, and everyone is made to forget, everything that would remind everyone of that person is destroyed. All physical evidences, if possible, would be destroyed. All memories would be shrouded in a mist. Everything that would indicate his passing through Meifu was to be erased, even if it were just an image in a picture.

"He met with Enma-DiaOh." he whispered. 

I pick him up from the floor and lead him out as I took out the first box that I would dispose for the night. This was not how I envisioned my night to be…

They say it's difficult. Yes tell ya it's typical.   


The days pass slowly at first and I found out that unlike everyone else Tsuzuki didn't forget our stern secretary. It hurt him the most that no one remembered Tatsumi now even if only a week has passed. Tsuzuki is learning of everything the hard way. He will never forget now. He will carry this memory now till the very end. He will remember a person who no one else will recall. 

I can see him now building that wall, he will never let Tatsumi die and be forgotten. He will carry the pain of this loss. Even now he tries to dissuade Kurosaki from his worry. This will be another thing, one of the many, that he will keep from everyone else. He is as cruel as Tatsumi in this aspect. He will not let anyone help him carry this burden, not that anyone can though.

Gotta be conventional, you can't be too radical.

Everything eventually went back to its old hum drum ways. True once in a while a case would come and send many into panic. The case with Kurosaki's family and when he got his first shikigami both really made memorable impressions but nothing that really would shake Tsuzuki. It was as if after what happened he returned into the ditzy personality he kept. The darkness that he kept inside though scares me now. 

Property damage remain the same and the division is now constantly in the red but no one cares too much about it anymore. Like any other day we all simply take it in stride. I'm no longer sure I like this situation now. It has become quite a feat to keep everything together; maybe an anal-retentive obsessive-compulsive personality wasn't so bad.

So I sing this song to all of my age  
For these are the questions we gotta face.  
  
And so it begins again. I loose another shinigami and another and another and another… a never ending chain of watching. Now though I have someone else to worry about. 

It's almost that time of the year again, when one upon a time a mean, scheming, miser looked up to the sky for the last time and left this world for something more important than money. It was time again for me to watch the most powerful shinigami be swallowed by the darkness of his own misery. I could almost see him curled up beneath that same sakura tree where the other was last seen. It was none of my business but there was nothing that could be done. Everyone copes with mourning in their own way… this was how Tsuzuki coped with this loss.

For in this cycle that we call life, we are the ones who are next in line  
  


I stare at a pair of mismatched eyes and wonder if DaiOh sama had it in for me. If I had thought a few years without my not so pleasant but efficient secretary was a punishment… maybe adding an insane, hopefully saner now dead, doctor would definitely clinch that I had somehow offended my boss. 

"Good morning! Welcome to Meifu Muraki-sensei!"

Did I forget to say that I hated my job?  


-End-

July 4,2004

Disclaimer:  
  
No shinigami was hurt during the creation of this fanfiction. I do not own the characters in either worlds. Wei? Kreuz was created by Koyasu Takehito and Yami no Matsuei was created by Yoko Matsushita. The characters and associated materials of these works are used WITHOUT permission. I'm not getting any money out of this. Song Next in Line sung by After Image Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted of the author. 

Thank you for the reviews!!!

Ghost Whisper: thanks!! Tats will return after this chapter... or at least I plan to bring him back... sorta...

Sadistic Dragon of Doom: Err... too angsty you think?

hmmm: maybe... 

Star Dragonsong: Yes a lot of things really bugs me about how I wrote it but I haven't found anyone to beta my fics at all. he he I'm trying, honest I'm trying. Hmmm? Omi or Aya? Thanks for the suggestion!!scratches head I really have no real idea yet. Scratch that I have an idea but I have three separate people who can fill up the slot sooooo...lol.  



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